Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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