Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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