Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
