i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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