Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize