I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
