i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
