Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A bitchslap is in order.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
