dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
