I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
