I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
