i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
