This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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