Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
