I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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