dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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