He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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