Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
