i would punch a child for taco bell
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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