So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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