playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
