how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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