if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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