a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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