We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
