He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
