Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
