remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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