Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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