somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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