honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
