If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
