I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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