And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
