I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
