It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
