Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
