Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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