she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
