What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
