I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
