i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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