If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
