I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The air was thick with penises
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
