shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize