Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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