dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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