Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So apparently I’m into choking now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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