How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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