Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
