We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize