At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
