You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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