Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
