were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
