We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
