Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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