the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
