so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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