Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
