Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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