i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
