just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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